A Short, Honest Guide to Understanding Zimbabwe’s “Coup”

So there’s something going on in Zimbabwe and I’m here to clear up things a bit to make it easier for friends far and wide to understand what’s going on. After going through the questions below you’ll definitely have a better and more informed grasp of events.

 

Was there a coup in Zimbabwe? – Well….maybe. Possibly. Kind of. It’s actually a military operation to arrest criminals.

 

How’s the situation, is it any different? – Aside from the Twitter jokes and memes not much of a difference to be honest. We just know one more soldier, my namesake, Gen S. B Moyo who told us of this operation on Wednesday morning.

 

So who’s in charge? – I don’t know

 

What will happen next? – I don’t know

 

Where is President Mugabe? – In Zimbabwe

 

Is he still President? –Yes

 

Will he resign as President? – I don’t know

 

Will he be impeached? – I don’t know

 

What did he say in his speech yesterday?It’s here, you can watch it and interpret for yourself.

 

Where is Emerson Mnangagwa? -I don’t know

 

Is he behind all this? -I don’t know

 

What about the analysts and experts on TV from fancy universities?– They don’t know anything

 

Are you an authority on this? – No, I’m not

 

What are you then? – Just a young man, growing up,  with a laptop, good internet and time

 

Why, then, should anyone listen to you? – Uhmm you don’t have to.

 

So who knows?– I’d say the President himself, Father Mukonori and the Generals. Maybe a few others. Oh, and a lot of people on Twitter, WhatApp and Facebook

 

This guy definitely knows what’s going on

 

Have you been coerced to say this? –No, I’ve not been coerced. I’m just a young man, and growing up.

 

There you have it, the Zimbabwean “crisis” explained.

 

But seriously, whoever claims to know what’s going on is probably lying. There’s been plenty of analyses and articles on this and most are rubbish. I even wrote one myself.

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